No wonder our kids need remedial reading and math upon entering college in many states, and also why we are No. 47 in the world in math.

The way the government works, numbers are not from another world, but from another dimension (insert “Twilight Zone” theme here). Just amazing.

Nancy Pelosi says: “Every dollar we spend on unemployment puts $2 in the system.” Really? In what universe? Under government math, if Susie has 3 pieces of cake and Johnny only has 1, there is an obvious inequity. The fact that Susie’s daddy is a banker and Johnny’s daddy is a cab driver obviously means Johnny hasn’t had the same opportunities as Susie. This means we need to find Frankie, because he always has 4 pieces of cake. He’s looking a little chunky, so we need to save him from himself and give one of his pieces to Johnny. Then we need to take one from Suzie and give it to Johnny, as well. Now Johnny won’t feel bad because, based on government math, everyone has been equalized. Confused? I am writing it and I’m confused.

But this is government math.

They want us to believe that over 92 million people have left the work force. They will tell you it’s because many have retired, some are on disability, and other moronic excuses. We need to create 200,000-plus jobs per month to maintain a level of economic misery that’s tolerable.

Last month we created 73,000 jobs. Most were temporary jobs. Go figure. Christmas, holidays, and all that. But 535,000 people left the work force, bringing that number to over 91 million. Wait a minute. What?

Did 1 million people leave the planet, die off, hit the lottery, crawl under a rock? Will they be needing government help? Can anyone explain this to me?

Government math is the only way this works. The same guys who say more taxes will create more jobs. Yup, that logic means, taking money out of the pocket of employers will give them more money to hire people.

Only with government math will raising minimum wage to $15 per hour create more jobs and stimulate the economy. In most cases, it would double the total payroll for a company. And the government thinks that will compel employers to hire more employees because people will have more money to spend and they will need extra staff for the increased spending. Huh? That’s government math.

The participation rate – the number of people who are able to work but, for whatever reason, do not – is the worst it’s been since 1978. Mr. Obama, this is your “mission accomplished” moment. That does not include people on disability or those retired on government pensions.

People, there are approximately 350 million American citizens in the United States (and an unknown number of other human inhabitants). Let’s make it easy and round the numbers, because I don’t have enough fingers or toes to count on.

To start with, take 100 million away for those who have left the workforce. Next, figure that at least 75 million of the 350 million Americans have at least one child who doesn’t contribute to the tax rolls. That puts us at around 175 million taxpaying Americans. That means companies (employers) are paying for more than 175 million people receiving government aid. It can’t work.

To add insult to injury, CNBC now reports that, according to the government, there are only approximately 155 million employed people. Hello? Some of those 155 million employed are only part-time workers. (There is a 20-million-person chasm between my numbers and theirs, but hey, it’s government math.) We are closer to a 25-30 percent unemployment rate. Even the government’s real rate, as shown by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, is closer to 13.2 percent. So, not only can’t they add or calculate percentages, but they couldn’t find the truth in a bag marked “Truth” if you put both of their hands on it.

Let’s break it down to smaller numbers for illustration. Say there are 20 people on your street and you have all vowed to take care of each other in every way. Communal living. Say 10 people decide they really don’t want to work. They want to hang out and raise their families, work on their homes, cars, or maybe start a new career. That means the other 10 must provide for the whole group of 20. They might need to cut back on food, get rid of a car to save on insurance, use less electricity, buy fewer clothes and make other adjustments. Why? Well, if you’re using government math (and logic), everyone has to share. No one should go without food, shelter, cable or cellular service. And no one should be forced to work until they decide to, and even then, only at a job that satisfies them.

Come on. Does this make sense to anyone?

Government math has gifted us with a “real” unemployment rate in excess of 25 percent, a $17 trillion deficient (and climbing), and one of the worst education systems in the world. (You can’t just throw money at it to fix it.)

People, wake up or we’re going to lose our country.

Joe Messina is host of The Real Side (TheRealSide.com), a nationally syndicated talk show that runs on AM-1220 KHTS radio and SCVTV [here]. He is also a member of the Hart School Board. His commentary publishes Monda