John Heys, CEO of Heys Plumbing, is to be roasted at the 14th Annual Elks Lodge Roast to be held Saturday, Jan. 21, at the Santa Clarita Elks Lodge in Canyon Country.
City Councilman Bob Kellar, Event Founder and Elks Roast Chairman Mike Fisher announced that the tedious selection process of finding exactly the right candidate had been resolved.
“We had to interview – and smell – a lot of plumbers,” Kellar said. “John Heys was the only one who smelled good, so he was the obvious candidate. Plus he was available. That narrowed the field a lot.”
Mike Fisher seconded the notion, saying they had been looking for a plumber for a long time to roast “because of all the good toilet jokes that would be sure to gurgle up. And none of them will be flushed for censorship.”
Mike and Bob said they were looking for a plumber because they wanted a roastee who had a lot of money. Attorneys were considered but they don’t make as much money as plumbers.
John will be roasted by four of his dearest (former) friends at this annual signature event, including dinner and a live auction of several exciting items, including vacation trips and dinner parties.
Samuel Dixon Family Health Centers, Inc. has been designated once again as the beneficiary of the Roast. Ed Bolden, president of the board of directors had this to say: “We are so fortunate to have the support of the Elks and such good-hearted people as John Heys. This event helps Samuel Dixon Family Health Centers help a lot of people with their health care needs.”
Tables (seating for ten per table) for the event are priced at $3000, $1500 and $1000. Invitations will be available shortly. Call Samuel Dixon Family Health Centers (661-257-2339 x 302) for more information or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org to be put on the e-mail and mailing list.
About Samuel Dixon Family Health Centers Inc.
SDFHC operates three health centers in the Santa Clarita Valley-Canyon Country Health Center, Val Verde Health Center and Newhall Health Center-as well as outreach sites at College of the Canyons and California Institute of the Arts. SDFHC offers a full range of health care services-physicals, immunizations and vaccines, screenings and diagnostic tests, well baby care, and family planning. Patients pay based on their income. This past year, SDFHC provided service for 11,000 patient visits. Visit our website at www.sdfhc.org.
About the Elks
The Benevolent and Protective Order of the Elks, Santa Clarita, Lodge No. 2379, is located at 17766 Sierra Highway in Canyon Country. The Elks give more scholarships than any other organization except the United States government. The Elks collect and redistribute more than $10 million annually nationwide through the Elks National Foundation. The Elks gives millions of dollars to disabled children in California; supports hospitalized veterans with clothing and other necessities; and hosts a variety of holiday parties throughout the year, as well as donating food baskets to local needy families. For membership information call 661-251-1500. The lodge is located at 17766 Sierra Highway.