It is very sad that Acton has lost another teen to suicide, the third in less than seven years.
There are no answers to this tragedy. The events that follow are always predictable. School boards and administrators cover up; the bullies run for shelter, sometimes in open sight; the family and friends grieve. We all hope the living learn just how fragile life is.
In October 2008 the first suicide happened. I was on the Acton-Agua Dulce School Board at the time, and my 13-year-old son had shared a class with the victim just four months prior. Even though my son was in a different school at the time, he told me who he thought pulled the trigger. Talking with the superintendent an hour later confirmed my son’s suspicions.
Denial of any knowledge of bullying by both his middle school and high school administrators followed. His eighth-grade teacher and an aide both admitted publicly they had witnessed the child being bullied. Psychologists were made available to both students and staff. They told the administrators not to do anything that glorifies suicide. The father wanted a plaque placed in honor of his son. This request was correctly denied.
In April 2011, the child of one of the school board members sadly took her life. A school district-sanctioned scholarship was established in the victim’s name. Somehow the board at the time didn’t realize this is more glorifying than a plaque.
Two weeks ago, the most recent tragedy occurred. The school district’s reaction to this tragedy was predictable. A school board member stated publicly: “There is no evidence that there was a cause from anything connected to the school.” How did he know that, just a couple days after the death?
In mourning, one of this child’s classmates hand-drew on a shirt a heart with the victim’s name on it and wore it to school. This child was asked to turn the shirt inside out so as not to “glorify suicide.” The child refused and was sent home; her parents contacted the media, and the story went viral. The school district’s response was denial. Do they really think a mourning 14-year-old would lie about that? They should be apologizing, not denying.
A news story comment by someone named Olive in Atlanta says it most succinctly: “Her T-shirt doesn’t glorify suicide. Those administrators are idiots.” It truly is sad that our school board does not know the difference between mourning and glorifying. And have they ever heard of the First Amendment?
The superintendent stated the obvious when he said their policies need to be updated regarding suicide prevention. As parents, we need to listen and watch out for our children. Hug them, love them and let them know they have a place to turn to. Hopefully a fourth needless, irrational act can be prevented.
Oh, and make sure to teach understanding and listening. Don’t forget that many Americans have fought and died to preserve our freedom to speak. Let the Haileys of the world mourn the loss of a friend.
Ron Bird is a former school board member in the Acton-Agua Dulce Unified School District.
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26 Comments
The lack of knowledge regarding bullying and suicide among school personnel, from teachers to the school board, is simply appalling. Keep ignoring preventative mental health and spend your money on sports, but don’t complain about the suicide rate.
He doesn’t look like a teen.
That’s the guy that wrote the story
Oh. Thanks.
That is not the picture of the teen. This is the picture of Ron Bird. It’s important to real the complete story.
Mike-Grace A. Gasinski
Yes… we heard about it that a.m. :-(
My brother also attended the Acton-Agua Dulce Unified School Distict and committed suicide in 2006 at the age of 17. Let’s please do everything we can to help these kids, listen to them, love them, support them and not minimize the issues important to them.
Mellie Bux
So are school board members and administrators essentially stating that they are so dumb and ignorant that they cannot recognize the bullying in their school???
Maybe they should open their eyes and stop being pathetic excusers!!! Or maybe people with brains should just replace them!!!
They would prefer to lose a few srudents rather tan do ant screening or provide any care since these things cost money.
I do not have any children. But I can say that being bullied all through school, teachers and administrators have no idea how to deal with bullies or their targets. Telling a child to grow a thicker skin, ignore them and they’ll move on to someone else is a load of crap. Teachers, aids, administrators and the entire school board need to be educated about how to deal with bullies and how to properly care for the target of the bullies.
The district was following protocol established by the National Association of School Psychologists. I cannot even imagine the horror of the parents who lost their child to suicide when the story became about a child who was simply asked turn a shirt inside out, the same thing they are asked to do for any dress code violation.
Do the schools have an obligation to be more sensitive to the needs of the family who lost their child than the one who was wearing the T-shirt? Of course, plus “free speech” has never applied to minors in a school setting.
Should the school set their protocol using the advice of trained therapists? Of course.
Most schools have come a long way in the last few years to address bullying. Not always far enough, but its a leap to assume that’s the reason this tragedy occurred.
It’s really sad that people aren’t more concerned about the parents.
Perhaps the esteemed association of school psychologists needs to rethink this.
Thank you so much for everything you said in your article. Thank you for standing up and acknowledging the truth. It is sad Enough that my daughter was devastated at being sent home. But now for the superintendent to continue to publicly lie and say she wasnt makes it worse. Even in the private meeting we had, he continued to try to lead Hailey into saying she wasn’t really sent home. I was the one who picked her up and was told she couldn’t wear the shirt at school because it “glamorized suicide”. Hailey was given the choice to take yhe shirt off or go home. Because she chose to honor her friend, she HAD to go home. I am so disappointed in the superintendents response, I can’t see straight. I DO NOT blame the principal. She is only following instructions from her superior. A school aid saw tge shirt and instructed her to turn it inside out. Hailey refused, and was sent to Ms. Freeman who told her to ” think on it” and sent her to the principal who in turn followed the “guidelines set forth by tge board. Something is serious wrong.
Great example. All the principal cares about is CYA apparently, and ridiculous guidelines.
Denise, you’re a good mom who raised a good kid!
My kids grew up in this school district. Bullying was very common, with teachers at times giving bullies support with by laughing with them. I pulled my kids out and homeschooled them, after several attempts at reporting to the school about bullying behavior. It was not only denied, but blamed on my child…”maybe he should toughen up…boys will be boys…it’s not that bad. ..your child is over sensitive”…etc..I wouldn’t send any child to these schools….find another alternative if you can….
The fix to bullying starts in the home of the bully! Parenting once informed that they are raising a bully, they can work on the problem. The parents of the one being bullied can also get involved if the school sees it happening and let’s them know. A good home life builds confidence too for the teen.
I agree, but the school needs to notify the parents of said bully…it doesn’t even make it that far. I as a parent was able to contact one of the bullies parents, who were upset and tried to do the right thing. However, because the school refused to admit that there was a problem, and to punish this bully, the bullying became worse…
Schools talk about anti-bullying buy they turn away all the time. So much for their help…..
This a great story! Finally someone is writing the truth ! @sctv Santa Clarita, You should ask President Amanda Buchan of The Agua Dulce Woman’s club about the bullying that they are covering up. Make sure you ask her who the Agua Dulce Royal Court is being lead by and what they are doing about the young woman in their court who is a cyber bully, and why they are angry that the girl who is being bullied is speaking out! They are so angry that they are going back on the contract and not paying scholarship money as promised to the bullied girl! .. I will private message you more information! Would love for you to see how they are dealing with an in house case of bullying!
Administration is failing! Please private message me your email:)
Or contact Please contact Annaya Zubick , Olga Zubick or myself
Molly Flores
This a great story! Finally someone is writing the truth ! @sctv Santa Clarita, You should ask President Amanda Buchan of The Agua Dulce Woman’s club about the bullying that they are covering up. Make sure you ask her who the Agua Dulce Royal Court is being lead by and what they are doing about the young woman in their court who is a cyber bully, and why they are angry that the girl who is being bullied is speaking out! They are so angry that they are going back on the contract and not paying scholarship money as promised to the bullied girl! .. I will private message you more information! Would love for you to see how they are dealing with an in house case of bullying!
Administration is failing! Please private message me your email:)
Or contact Please contact Annaya Zubick , Olga Zubick or myself
Molly Flores
Coverage of the Town Hall meeting regarding this issue by the Agua Dulce Acton Country Journal is here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/wvuirw47phy13ug/scan0007.pdf?dl=0
So very sad. There is a great book out called The Will To live. Written by a father who lost his son almost 5 years ago. Started a foundation . Great book. Written by John Trautwein
Agua Dulce is not the only local district that deny their bullying issues. Districts like Saugus Union do to. The School Districts often deny or limit the bullying issues. In fact, I feel that they do a cover up and and put their circle of wagon around the bully, especially if the bully is an administrator, teacher, staff member, (child or friends of the child) of someone closely connected to the District.
My child has been bullied repeatedly both psychologically and physically on multiple occasions. Despite my repeated efforts to report each time it happened, nothing much was done and the bullying continued. It’s a shame and a crime (literally and figuratively) that the Districts do this, not to mention a violation of Civil Rights. The Federal Law mandates that the School Districts appropriately respond to and proactively respond to bullying issues with appropriate assessments, counseling, and punishments of the bullies (and effective & research based proactive anti-bullying programs), but this does not often happen in reality.
Bullying does not allow a child access to appropriate education. Bullying has harmful and damaging short term and long term consequences to education and pyschological state of the student.
Parents have to speak up and advocate for their child.
Here are some helpful sources:
http://www.cde.ca.gov/ls/ss/se/prevbully.asp
http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/letters/colleague-201010.html
http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/letters/colleague-bullying-201410.pdf