The same old Hart High classmate from many, many years ago called and said he had once again been transported to the Planet Laconia. I write this chronicle as requested by my chemically affected classmate so that all shall know of his exploits throughout the galaxy.

In times past, I chronicled the exploits of King Mejormikel from the Planet Laconia. King Mejormikel is the king of Nolaconia, one of the planet’s five kingdoms. There are kings and queens of the four other kingdoms – Westlaconia, Eastlaconia, Cenlaconia and Solaconia. Once again I write of the kingdom of Nolaconia.

Once there was a group of people who had banded together and formed a guild to provide a service to the entire Kingdom of Nolaconia and areas far beyond the kingdom. It wasn’t a glamorous service, but it was a necessary one. For the most part, they did their job well.

The guild even started performing the service for other planets all over the galaxy. The king thought this was good.

King Mejormikel appointed counselors to oversee the guild and provide a way to make sure the serfs and other peasants who lived near the the area where guild operated had a way to keep informed by the guild. The appointed councilors were from the people of Nolaconia even if they didn’t reside near the guild.

The king also elected other councilors who were to represent the serfs and peasants in various villages of the kingdom. He prudently ensured they were able to get money to operate the councils directly from the guild.

Now the king saw nothing wrong with having guild-funded councils to watch the guild. Here in America on Planet Earth, we would call that “conflict of interest.” The practice seemed fairly normal throughout Laconia.

Over time, the guild grew rich and wanted to grow richer. The guild members asked, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we gave all manner of gold and silver to those who need a little help?” So give they did – to many youth clubs and organizations, along with schools and other educational facilities. Some children of the serfs and the peasants were sent to the university, and much of that cost was from the guild.

Eventually there were councilors in other parts of the kingdom who were given small amounts of gold and silver to help them better govern. Since those councilors were also elected by the serfs and peasants, they were to watch over them and protect them. No matter what the guild did or didn’t do, they had nothing but good words for the guild.

It came to pass a few Earth years ago, the guild wanted to expand so it could be of even greater service to the kingdom, the planet and the galaxy. So they asked Laconia to let them expand, and Laconia said it was all good if they stopped and moved the guild a few years hence. Everyone was happy.

The serfs and peasants were happy because they thought the guild would move away a few years hence and be forever gone from the village of Green Valley.

The councilors were all happy because the serfs and peasants seemed happy.

But alas, this was not to be. The guild decided to ask Laconia if it could expand again. The serfs and peasants of Green Valley were much angered and went to King Mejormikel to ask for help. The king listened to them and then let the request move through the normal channels of paperwork the kingdom used.

As time went on and the process continued, the serfs and peasants started telling everyone in Nolaconia – and the rest of Laconia, too – about how the guild had not been good to have around.

The service of the guild “doth stink much and is harmful to us and our animals,” said the serfs and peasants of Green Valley.

But the guild just gave more gold and silver pieces to other councilors appointed and elected, plus even more to many worthy charities in Nolaconia. The guild also was performing services more for those outside Nolaconia than for those inside the kingdom. For this they were paid more gold and silver.

The guild gave gold and silver to many and would say how good it was how it helped Nolaconia each and every day. The appointed and elected councilors were given a tour of the guild’s property and were told, “All is well. We don’t smell.”

But the councilors weren’t shown the bad parts of the guild’s services. Having stuff brought to the guild that shouldn’t have been there. Reports of ugly stuff so vile that the serfs and peasants had problems finding out just how bad it was. But they did.

So now the matter rests with King Mejormikel and the other kings and queens of Laconia. Will the guild get bigger? My friend reporting this knows not. Of course, getting him to tell this much was rather difficult. I’m not sure he didn’t smell some of that vile stuff the guild took in.

My old classmate drifted back into his thoughts and dreams of his travels through time and space. I sure hope what he talked about isn’t true. If it is, that Nolaconia is one messed-up kingdom on one very messed-up planet.

I’m sure happy it is in Nolaconia and not the SCV.

Darryl Manzer grew up in the Pico Canyon oil town of Mentryville in the 1960s and attended Hart High School. After a career in the U.S. Navy he returned to live in the Santa Clarita Valley. He can be reached at dmanzer@scvhistory.com and his commentaries are archived at DManzer.com. Watch his walking tour of Mentryville [here].