California State University, Northridge’s Wendy Ashley, chair of the Department of Social Work, encourages those experiencing elevated stress levels and anxiety to prioritize their own wellbeing.

“I think it’s really challenging to talk about politics and not argue — the election is so divisive, and everything becomes polarized,” said Ashley, who teaches in CSUN’s College of Social and Behavioral Sciences. “When we become triggered or afraid, our options on how to navigate those difficult situations become bifurcated, as if we only have two options only.

“In my role as a trained therapist, I see that stress levels, depression, and anxiety are higher post-pandemic and post-election,” she continued. “The way that trauma works is that when something happens in the present to activate a prior trauma experience, people feel overwhelmed and activated, and I think all of that is happening at a higher intensity after this election.”

Ashley said people used to come to her about more resolvable problems, but now express feelings of hopelessness and being unsafe due to the larger societal dynamics of the election that impact people in serious ways.

She noted that the results of the 2024 election have frightened many people.

“What was on the table in this election were a lot of basic human rights,” Ashley said. “The personal issues are very much political, and the idea that we can separate them is a fallacy and a privilege.

“Many people take the position of the election as ‘it’s just politics,’” she said. “Perhaps you can say that if you have more privilege, but this is impacting those that are marginalized and minoritized differently. So, for them in particular, it impacts them, their communities, and the people they love on deeply personal levels.”

She said that it is important for people to self-regulate and figure out what it is they need to heal to manage the feelings related to the election.

“It has to be a conscious intention and strategy; ‘What am I going to do to manage my feelings about this so that I can participate in my relationships, in my work, and in my life?’” she said. “We must have conversations about this and identify realistic action plans, and we can’t do that if we are still wounded.

“Political conversations often get centered on arguments either for or against issues, but in real life people have perspectives on all areas of the continuum,” Ashley continued. “This polarization serves to divide and disconnect people. With the holidays coming, it might be challenging to navigate plans to spend time with family members who have different political opinions.”

When people have conversations with family members who disagree with them politically, it is important for them to clarify their boundaries, she said.

“It is worth being clear on what your non-negotiables are, so if the conversation goes toward that topic, family members are prepared for you to remind them you are not comfortable continuing that conversation,” she said.

“Family members may not respect those boundaries, so setting them means preparing for inevitable boundary violations. In some cases, that means distancing from the person, in others it may mean exiting the event,” said Ashley. “People like to stick to their traditions. An example would be ‘every Christmas we have dinner at Aunt Kiara’s house,’ but if you know someone has markedly different political views, consider limiting how much time you spend with them.”

“There are circumstances where you need to take care of your mental health and not attend a family holiday tradition,” she said. “If even the idea of being around certain family members is upsetting, causes you a level of distress, or evokes symptoms of depression or anxiety, consider doing what you need to do to take care of yourself instead of doing what you think you’re supposed to do for the holidays. That can include being around your chosen communities, friends or family that you’ve created. Often that is a better choice than doing things that are painful or harmful to you.”

Although it is necessary in certain times, before someone decides to cut a person they love because they don’t agree with who they voted for, it is important they first take a break from people and time off to reflect and take care of their wellbeing. But if certain people are toxic to their mental health, people need to figure out what is the best decision for the situation, Ashley said.

“It isn’t that you either keep them in your life the way it is or disconnect from them. Maybe you see them less, shorten your contact or limit the kind of contact you have with them. There are a lot of different things that you can control that are in between business as usual and no contact.”

Many people do not realize that privilege and bias factor into the escalation of political conversations, Ashley said.

“They say ‘you don’t have to think about it, that’s a privilege,’” she said. “Privilege obscures your vision, so you are less likely to see certain issues because you don’t have to. It becomes a problem when you do not support or listen to people who have different perspectives.

“Biases are subconscious, and we are never going to get rid of them,” she continued. “However, we can do things to disrupt, dismantle and not act them out on people. But it requires a level of self-awareness and flexibility that not everyone has or is willing to cultivate.”

Working to recognize one’s own bias is not easy work and is required to change both internally and interpersonally, Ashley said.

“People’s first response to criticism is being defensive,” she said. “But you need to hear and consider what people are saying. If you can be open to that and allow people to give you feedback, we can grow individually and collectively.”

Before thinking of the long-term resolutions, Ashley suggested prioritizing managing one’s own mental state on a day-to-day basis.

“When you are stressed, threatened or afraid, your brain narrows your vision so that all you can do is survive,” she said. “You don’t have access to logic during that time. First figure out how to self-regulate, and what you need to do to take care of yourself short term. Manage how you feel. Then you can make bigger decisions. We all need a minute to slow things down so we can get back to being ok.”